| more songs... on a roll people |
[Aug. 24th, 2004|12:59 am] |
woke up this morning with a well for a head
too many things playing tricks in the dark
all the things you felt, all the things I said
never went far in the light
My mind is swimming with thoughts floating in gin
a tangled web of ill concieved lies
I'm telling myself
I cant tell the time
The past is a blur
The present a sham
I need to find out just who I am
drove home this morning with knowing I'd be better off dead
somehow we just never made it that far
all the things you felt, all the things I said
finally meant something last night
You see
I've been here to long
and I cant find a way out
the longer I stay
the more madness plays out
when all this is through
you'll know the truth
I cant live without you
but you can live without me |
|
|
| songs for .... guys like me |
[Aug. 24th, 2004|12:23 am] |
I sit here thinking about you
Dreaming about the days when we'd be
Everything I thought we'd be
But that all goes away when he walks through the door with you
You see, I thought I'd be
The bigger man
Then I realize I already am
In the end
I'm 200 pounds heavier
Than your new boyfriend
I try to kill it
To let it die
A Chocalate shake
Another large frie
But all these burgers and shots of JD
Cant replace what you mean to me
For what its worth
I hope your happy
Nothings better than to see you smile
But I know this aint your thigh
Its too crispy and batter fried
The bones I line up single file
And I know
The only lips
I'll ever kiss
Are right here on this bottle's tip
In the end thats all I do
go through life a mental stew
drinking and eating and falling down
no way to live
fat drunk and stupid |
|
|
| fuckity fuck fuck fuck the world (a subject I am majoring in) |
[Jul. 22nd, 2004|09:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | pissed off | ] |
| [ | music |
| | sappy things... very sappy things | ] |
Babe... tomorrows so far away. something I just have to say. I dont think I can hide what I am feeling inside, another day.
knowing I love you. And I'm getting' too close again,I don't wanna see it end. If I tell you tonight, will you turn out the light and walk away? Knowing I love you?
YIZZAH... that felt damn good. fucking boston. the band, not the city, for all those who arent familar with the old school sappy music of decades past.
Cant help but feel alone in this one horse, five person, and twelve cow town. But we do have 3 bars, two pizza places, and one traffic light. The magic of the glowing green and red sometimes confuses lifetime beacon fallers, who throw rocks at it thinking it somekind of sorcery or witchcraft. But hey, nobodies perfect. I cant blame the town, when the problem is just me. ME ME ME ME ME..... best singing I have ever done. Too chicken shit to talk to most girls, the ones I do are taken, and I have a social life of 0 so meeting more is almost out of the question. At this rate I will be alone and in the gutter by thirty five... and a half.(just because february would be a nice month to be in a gutter. very brisk.) So this sets me on a cycle of self pity, which I hate. Because I cant stand people who whine and whine without doing anything, and thsi just makes me become one... look, I am doing it now. HAHAHAHAH. oh crap. maybe I can commit myself to an asylum and have them bring me non sharp foods every day, like jello and pudding.... maybe even pudding pops. now that would be the life. nothing better than pudding pops, just ask bill cosby. |
|
|
| SONUVA... |
[Jul. 22nd, 2004|12:19 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | frustrated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the sound of silence... literally | ] |
there are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke... I am one of them. Growing up you hear about all these concepts that are supposed to mean something, like honor, pride, courage, loyalty, chivalry. You eventually reach the real world, and find out that not only do they no longer apply, but they practicaly never existed. They only exist inside your mind, what they meant/ mean to you. The biggest thing you find is there is no real world. There is one world, and you have been living smack dab in the middle of it the whole damn time, you were just to naive to the see the bad in it. Innocence providing a sheild to the true inequities of the world. Prime example, Columbus Day! Hey kids, Columbus discovered America, eventually you learn that not only did the vikings come here long before, but that Columbus brought nice oodles of suffering to the natives of the central american region. Hey kids, the Civil War was a war to end slavery! Fuck no, it was a war to keep the nation whole. Sure the end of slavery came about as a result of it, and I am sure president Lincoln, a man whom I greatly admire, wanted to free them, but he didnt write the emancipation proclamation until near the end of the war, and that just freed the slaves in the rebellion states, because he couldn't risk losing the border states by pissing them off. The war was more about states rights than about slavery, even though slavery was a big issue, but we arent really told that because America has to be the perpetual good guy. We cant just admit a mistake then move on, we have to cast it into a new light. Put a positive spin on it. Thats the way it is, everyone is flawed, but few have the courage to admit it. We substitute honor for a positive spin, cover our loyalty with rationalization, and pawn our chivalry in for anything its worth. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about the fact I have to become part of this unsavory world, and even sicker when I realize I want to stoop down to its level sometimes, just to get a taste of what these kind of people are experiencing . The bad guys get all the girls, the cheaters and the liars get all the dough, and the muscle heads and the loudmouths get all the glory. And I get to thinking, in the end, without any of those things, what am I left with... and the answer is just me. |
|
|
| TATU |
[Jul. 19th, 2004|06:27 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | devils dance floor- flogging molly | ] |
so.... I got a tattoo on my arm..... yeah. it tickled a little while I got it but now its not too bad. Well, I should say I have the start of a tattoo. Just line work and a little shading.The pain in the ass part is taking care of it. Wash, ointment, keep it clean, more wash, more ointment, wrap it in saranwrap, trying not to lay on it while sleeping. All the trouble is wortht it though, because its goign to look awesome when its finished. |
|
|
| harder than it looks |
[Jul. 14th, 2004|11:02 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | rejected | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the hunger- the misfits | ] |
yeah... so... that running thing people do... its harder than it looks. I mean... I am trying to do it, and its a pain in the ass. Anyone who tells you weightloss is easy can go suck on a railroad spike... while its on the tracks... the electrified kind. I ache, I am tired, and I have a blister the size of a quarter on my foot. and it seems all I do is complain in this thing... useless. I am. yoda.says. Well... guess its off to bed. |
|
|
| ARMAGEDDON |
[Jul. 12th, 2004|09:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crushed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sugar High- Empire Records | ] |
Crap for brains... I am clearly advocating the path of least resistance, because that is all I am capable of at this point. Things always look up right before the drop off point. Sitting here trying to come up with somehting to write an entry about, that wouldnt be harping on the same stuff I talk about always and I cant, thats all that is filling my head. the same idiotic depressing shit thats filling my life. Upbeat, huh? Well, upbeat never was my style... and if you are reading this I could guess that you would know that by now. Not that anybody is reading this... |
|
|
| kliop |
[Jul. 9th, 2004|05:33 pm] |
|
bbv jk |
|
|
| In retrospect that three day old slice of pizza may have been a bad idea... |
[Apr. 28th, 2004|08:31 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cynical | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Blaze of Glory- Bon Jovi | ] |
As the semester, and year, draws to a close I cant help but look back... and realize I have accomplished nothing. I got $5.00 for selling back my books. That was a fun kick in the nuts. Over the semester I have worked a menial job for minimum wage while my unionized coworkers made triple that, watched as my computer gets crappier and crappier, waited for several useless hours in line for housing, and been accused of plagiarism because I story I wrote partially based on life was too good.. AWESOME.... at this point I really don't give a f@#% . |
|
|
| Thing |
[Apr. 21st, 2004|05:14 pm] |
So I got a live journal... YAY me
not sure what to do with it
how aboot that |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
petervenkeman's journal